Rick,
I am not allowed to be upset... You get what you want no matter how far behind I am in bills because of your borrowing money that YOU NEVER PAY BACK... You always get what YOU WANT... Game shit cigarettes you still get them. I seldom get what I want.
 It is not fair and I am so  upset about it but yet I am not supposed to say a damn word I have to pretend I am happy all the time.  I am REALLY sick of it.

I wish we could get on the same page but we are not even a part of the same book.  I don't know if we ever can.

• You think spending time is being in two rooms playing a game YOU chose for us                            My idea of spending time is cuddling watching something we both agree on.
• You tell me once you find a job your done with trying to be a JW but then you say your not.
• You spend money like water on stupid SHIT... games is stupid shit you can't hold it it is dumb

Rick,
We went to Superior today... yep we spent time together
We played Conan last night ... Yep we spent time together...
Are we just friends because that is what it feels like.  What kind of couple stuff do we ever do... OH the occasional moment you want to have sex... then I go back to be a peria that don't cut it.
I want cuddle... i want to kiss... which we can't do yet again WHY  because you started smoking hard core today funny thing is you seen that I was not happy about seeing you with a cigarette and you said "just to let you know I am not smoking again"... you say with a cigarette in hand  ... your excuse this time is your out of patches and chew.  You went through a pack of smokes by your damn self... wtf... ... I don't think you REALLY want to quit.  True to my word I didn't say a damn word.  I kept my mouth shut about it didn't lecture you didn't say a word.  Of course I was not happy about it.  How can I be when it keeps us apart.  However you made it clear your going to do what ever the hell you want whether I like it or not.

I am really lonely right now I would love to cuddle..however since your smoking now that is not an option cuz you reak of smoke.  In your book we already spent enough time together.  so your back to playing your damn game.  A game mind you that you want us to pay money into next month.  I am not seeing it as the priority that you are.  You want car parts... there is this wedding we are supposed to be paying for and you want game shit... I don't think so... but like with everything else you will find a way to always get what you want... why because somehow your entitled to it.  dumb if you ask me... what about anything that I may want.  That does not matter and normally it does not.  I feel like I don't matter.  How can I where does it ever show that I matter at all to you?

Rick
I am lonely and you still can't spend time with me.  You would rather play your game.  I wish I had money that I could just leave and have fun alone.  Since that is what I am I am alone.  We are not really boyfriend and girlfriend we are friends.  Then you wonder why I am not interested in having sex.  Go figure?

Autumn,
You don't know it yet but I stopped being your friend today.  When what I tell you gets back to Rick via your Dad... Not once now but three times well I can't have that.  I had hopes we would be good friends.  I kept your secrets but you can't keep mine I am sorry that does not make a good friend at all.

Hello R,
You want to have sex.. I am not feeling it.. I texted you last night and said that was in part in due to the fact that during what I call your "Ogre Week" you did some damage to our relationship.  You don't want to apologize you told me once you felt bad that you acted like that but that was as far as it had gotten.  I tried to  talk to you again today.  You dismissed me.  So our relationship is at a stand still.  I can't move this relationship forward by myself and you seem to be ok with how things sit.  So I don't know what to do.

R.
I don't even know what to say to you.  I am so angry.  I could care less if I ever spend time with you again.  I am so SICK of your crap.

• You lie to me so you can have what you want.  Not giving a damn who gets hurt in the process.  You want guitars... You want to smoke... You want game shit....
• You said you don't want to spend time with me because "we always argue" YOU are the one who makes everything an argument.
• You said you don't want to spend time with me because we ONLY do what I want .  SINCE WHEN?
• You accused me of wanting to be back with M.  AS if .. yeah I want less bills... Because you borrow money to get what you want that you NEVER pay back so I have to pay back money you borrowed .. while you still manage to get what you want. YET no one else can.  I also want someone who wants to spend time with me... That is not you apparently. 
• You keep saying things will change but they NEVER do.  

I love you I keep hoping that we will somehow get back to where we were.  During this last week you said it clearly though you don't think if we can get back there.  After you got super mean the other day yelling at me for having confidence that I could play well enough for your guild players in the game you had me start playing... Then I start crying because of how mean you were being you yelled at me some more .. Sorry it was the high light of your ass HOLE week.  Then to top off your week you lied to me about why D gave you money... Lied that you were supposed to give it back.. .why because you wanted game shit... Then today I find out that some of the money I gave you that put us into debt... for stuff you said we needed was used on game shit.  

Then you now wonder why I am so cold... 

hard to warm up to shit coming out of an ass.